I'm Loving It

I am LOVING my time off. I get to sleep in (compared to 5:30, 7:00 IS sleeping in), surf to my hearts content, and then try to get something accomplished so that the day isn't a total loss. Right now I am finishing up Christmas shopping. There wasn't much to do, just getting around to the places without loosing my mind was an accomplishment.

I went to school yesterday to help unpack and sort books for next semester. I was thrilled to note that I only have one new set to worry about this semester. We get all of our reference books in first semester and then everything after that are the books specific for the semester (for me, Med/Surg). We got our tentative class schedules yesterday too. During the first week we learn how to start IV's...

It is finished

My 1st semester of nursing school is complete. I received a great evaluation and was told that I am in good shape to go into next semester. The rumor mill is that 4 people will not be advancing with us, far more than I expected.

I can't even begin to describe the feelings of relief I am experiencing at the moment. I think this picture sums it up...

My Own Little World

I participated in a study group for our final. I knew the people in the group, but really haven't worked with them during the semester, so it was a bonding time.

For most of the semester I have kept my head down, ass up and kept out of all the typical squabbling/cliques that go on in this type of environment. I mostly did it because I immediately knew who in the class I wanted to stay away from, but didn't know their circle of influence.

So naturally in this study group I got to catch up on the class gossip and acted shocked at the appropriate times when classmates antics were talked about (but in reality it was just a confirmation of what I had already surmised).

That being said I received several comments this week along the lines of, "Where have you been all semester - we didn't know you thought that way?" and "How did you stay out of all of this mess?" Each time the answer was, "I was in my own little world." The best reply I got was, "That sounds like a good idea. Can I immigrate to it?"

Down to the final hours

Tomorrow morning I take my final for school. This time tomorrow I will be breathing a sigh of relief or they will be cleaning up the classroom because my head exploded during the test.

That means on Tuesday I go in for my final evaluation with my clinical instructor and I get my grade for the class. I figured out that I need a 5% on this final in order to pass the class, which means I only have to get one question correct. That makes it nice because I won't be feeling the pressure to do well on the exam in order to advance to second semester. Unfortunately, I can't say it is that way for all of my class. Some really nice people who will become great nurses are struggling. The main problem they are having is learning how to think the way they want us to think.

Oh and on Tuesday night... the husband and I are going out for dinner to celebrate!

Squatting at Borders

I have this whole week off in order to enjoy the full experience of studying for my final. Today I'm going to meet up with some of my classmates at Borders. We plan on raiding the NCLEX books in order to practice question answering. While I feel slightly dirty for doing this, there's a very good chance that I will walk out of there with some random book - therefore a win-win situation in my mind.

I'm in love with the man at the liquor store

Last Saturday I stopped by our local state controlled liquor store to pick up some vodka in order to make some vanilla. Anywho, I go up to the counter to pay and the guy asked for my ID. I instantly fell in love. I don't care that he has to card everyone who appears under 35 - he carded ME. I think it had to do with the major local university sweatshirt I had on more than my youthful appearance. Either way, I wanted to kiss the man on the lips, tongue - no tongue, which ever he preferred.

Clinicals Are Over!

This week I finished my first clinical rotation and turned in the last of my paperwork. Yahoo! Now I am studying for the final which is little over a week away.

I loved the second part of clinicals this semester. We were at a local VA rehab facility and I got to see some interesting things and work with some really nice people. Also, I LOVED my clinical instructor. She is a great teacher and no matter what dumb things I did, she was always encouraging, yet correcting me at the same time.

So now I am trying something different while studying for the final, I am actually working in a study group. I have always been against them because I felt that the quality of study wasn't worth it. However, I think with all the time I have available, I am more open to it because I can study with them and then do some on my own. Yesterday was our first session and I think it went well. I also found out a bunch of gossip about things I was completely in the dark on. In fact, one of my classmates said, "Wow, you never seem to be in the middle of this stuff." I told her it's because I completely out of the loop and have no idea of what has been going on.

Oh, funny thing while studying yesterday... the question that was read was about how you insert a tympanic thermometer in an ear correctly. One of the choices was read incorrectly, but nearly had us all on the floor. One of the possible answers was "Move the penis to get into the ear canal." It should have been pinna, but I liked the first choice the best.

Riddle Me This

There is a news story on CNN that has the headline, "Friends, family mourn 'good kid' who died after Taser incident". My question is, if he was such a good kid, why did he put himself into a situation where the police would Taser him? Discuss it amongst yourselves. That is all.

The light at the end of the tunnel

Three clinical days and a final exam are all that stand between me and the end of the semester. I start today studying for the final. There is a huge amount of material to review, so it is going to take me several weeks. I plan on breaking it up with cleaning out the room that will be our guest room. Over break I plan to redecorate it, since I will have the time. I will also be studying for the Nurses Aide I exam.

I've been doing clinical at a local VA rehab facility. I've had two clients who were absolutely delightful. This last week was the first week for giving medication. My client sometimes is reluctant to take his meds, and he tried to get out of them, but in the end I prevailed. Just before we went to lunch I had to give him some Tylenol and he missed his mouth. He performed quite a dance for me trying to find it (it was stuck in his clothes).

Shoot Em Up

Now all that is left for skills check off is the injection. School policy doesn't allow us to stick each other, so we have to do it on a mannequin. I SO don't get the policy. We can't practice on each other, but it was acceptable for our first stick to be an elderly person. You would think that we should have given each other our flu shots.

While on the same subject, I got my flu shot today. The hospital conglomerate associated with my school gave us free flu shots. I was especially thrilled that she didn't activate the needle safety device while still in my arm. If you notice on the picture below, there is a button on the end of the shaft. You have to press it pretty hard to get it to work, plus it can pinch the skin when it retracts. Now, I'm not a fan of getting immunized, but I'm not afraid of it. The nurse today told me about a hospital employee who had to have two colleagues hold her down in order to get her flu shot, the employee was an RN!

Cathy can Cath

Today I had my skills check off for placing urinary catheters. I had to place an indwelling cath into a anatomically correct model. I was thrilled that when I opened my kit it didn't smell like grapefruit. I didn't want to have to explain that to my instructor.

The Home Stretch

We only have 4 weeks left for this semester! We have finished all the lectures and labs so all that is left is clinicals, tests and projects.

I had my midterm clinical evaluation. It went well so now we are on to the next clinical site with a different instructor.

Last week we got to go to a local long term care center (the new politically correct term for nursing home) and give flu shots to the residents. I did fine and no old people were maimed. I did feel like an idiot when my instructor pointed out that I couldn't understand my client not because of her stroke, but because she was speaking Spanish. So I said "Hola, como esta?" and wanted to say more, but realized the only other thing I knew to say was to order a margarita.

Fruit Violations

Last week we had our elimination lab, which means we got to learn how to put in Foley and In & Out catheters. You really have to watch keeping a sterile field during these procedures and to remember that once you put your non-dominate hand in the field (nice way of saying - grab the penis) that it is contaminated and you can't use it until you are done with the insertion. This is a skill that I need to practice, so I had the husband buy a grapefruit for me yesterday. I figured I could carve it up to approximate the labia and urethra. I will never be a pornographic fruit carver.


Oh and the orange next to it... It had been shot up the previous week in class when I learned how to give injections. No fruit is safe in my house.

Penises For Everyone!

This should have been the name of my last lab. I was such an adult and didn't laugh when I walked into our lab room last week. There, on the table for each of us, was a plastic penis. No, this wasn't a porno, we had to learn how to put on condom catheters.

A Great Name for a Dog Continued

Atelectasis - failure of the lung to expand completely. Now keep in mind that I go to school in a state known for a southern drawl and some of my instructors put this drawl onto some words. So imagine if you will standing outside yelling, "Come 'ere ă-de-LEXUS".

Yeah, Yeah It has been a while

Fall break got in the way and then I just never got back into the swing of writing. But, it has allowed me to stock up on some stories.

Student Nurse All Thumbs

I think that needs to be my nickname. The past two days have been very challenging to my ego. I have quickly discovered that I am a whiz at theory and a klutz at practice skills. Clincials this week dealt with bathing our clients. Let's just say I think there was more water on me by the end than used on the client. Let's just not go into the first time experience of putting on an adult incontinence product... thank goodness we had a client with a great amount of patience.

During lab we learned how to give intermittent tube feeds through a nasogastic tube. It was a great learning experience for all my classmates... they saw all of the things you shouldn't do while giving a tube feeding. I will be practicing that skill next week on my own so that I don't a) pull the NG tube right out of a clients nose and B) cause them to blow up like a balloon from all the air I allow into their system.

Well, off to take a dosage calculation retest. You have to get 100% on it and I did fine with the math (you know - the HARD part)... I just couldn't remember how many milliters in an ounce. Luckily I only have to take a portion of the test again.

Plus this afternoon I have my assessment skills check-off. I feel pretty good about it, so hopefully my partner won't be catapulted out of bed when I start adjusting it for the exam.

A Pain in the Pancreas

I didn't fall into a bedpan and get lost... Husband decided last week that his abdominal pain was bad enough to warrant a trip to the ER at {Big Name University}. Turns out that he had pancreatitis, so he earned a 5 day stay a Chateau {Big Name University}. Naturally this put a dent into my free time to blog, but everything is OK now.

For all you medical types you can appreciate this... his lipase on admission was off the scale at 4,000... man he's such an overachiever.

It Depends

I have some very funny and creative classmates. For the Rat's Ass class we have to read journal articles and present them, which we do in groups. One group today did a little skit about the various causes of bed wetting. Two people played the parents and the remaining four were children representing the various reasons. The four came into the room wrapped in a blanket and then the parents woke them up and the blanket was removed... they were all wearing adult diapers. Now that I type it, it doesn't seem as funny - but let me tell you - I will remember the article.

Laughed Until It Hurt

Last night the husband and I went out on a date (gasp!). Yes - we were out past 7 pm and it didn't involve a drive through window.

We went to see Emo Philips last night. If you don't know who he is, check out the website. He's on the order of Steven Wright... and if you don't know who he is, then I can't help you. The husband mentioned that if Bobcat Goldthwait and Steven Wright had a child - it would be Emo Philips.

Anywho - we went to dinner at the comedy club and then to the show. We were seated next to the stage so we knew we could possibly be part of the show, and we weren't disappointed.

Several times Emo said something about being weird and maybe it was just coincidence, but he looked straight at the husband. Later Emo asked him what he did, to which he replied "Software Engineer" and so Emo followed up by asking, "So are you a musician?" The husband said, "No (but the bastard pointed to me and said I was)", to which Emo replied, "I've heard that genius and music go together, but obviously not in your case."

Later Emo asked me what instrument I played and I had to reply that I sang (which I did about 15 years ago). So he asked me what my favorite note was.

Then Emo asked how many children we had, I said none. He told the husband, "Flip her over next time."

It was a great night and Emo is someone we have wanted to see for a long time. I will leave you with a couple of things he said last night that stuck with me.

"I always wanted to teach spastic children, but then I realize they learn it on their own."

"I like a smart audience. If they don't have a good time they think it is their fault for not researching all their entertainment options. A stupid audience just blames the comic."

And my all time favorite...

"My ex-wife who shall remain nameless.... if I am ever alone with her tombstone and a sand blaster."